Happy 4th of July, friends. To my UK readers, sorry about the whole Revolutionary War thing. And the English language.
Even as I wrote that intro, Viva, who is toilet training, announced “I’m starting to poop!” and Pringles triumphantly stood up on my ottoman only to tumble backwards and land in a pile of screams. Odie and I haven’t yet worked out a schedule to allow me to write. Pringles’ four giant eruption hematomas kept her and me up most of the night and I think Viva has ringworm on her butt cheek. Life with two kids doesn’t slow down.
Here is what I’m working on:
I shall do my best to answer some of my most frequent search queries such as “Are Dooce and Jon getting a divorce?” “Does Brett Hampton work?” “Who is Mrs. Odie?” and “Does chai tea make me bleed more after an abortion?”
Women still can’t have it all. Because Mitt Romney has most of it.
What I’ve decided about teacher training after watching “Grey’s Anatomy”.
And finally, how I arrived at the conclusion that I’m not Stay-At-Home-Mom material.
Enjoy your middle of the week holiday, America. I’m off to dose the dog with Xanax.